My Rainy Tuesday

I hate that I have had this plan, which was agreed on by my whole family, and that I've had it for a LONG time (over 3 months), and that I've been working hard and setting goals to accomplish this plan, and despite a few setbacks, I'm right on track for it to happen on Friday.

That is, I was on track until I got home from work and talked with my mom...

See, my grandparents have my parents old Chevy Suburban at their farm, and what my mom proposed (and by proposed, I mean that she said, "what I think is the right thing...") is that I would take my dad's truck to college, and my parents would bring back the Suburban as the second vehicle at the house. Sounds peachy, right?

Not to me. Yes, this would save me money wich I could put toward other things (mission, miscelaneous college expenses, etc.) Yes, this SEEMS like the logical choice (I get a vehicle and only have to pay insurance, and there are still two vehicles at the house). BUT (the big "B" word, here) it doesn't seem right.

I HATE (notice the all-capital letters) that truck. I have never really felt comfortable OR secure while driving it. Ever since the clutch went out the SECOND time, I'm always weary that I'll pull it out of first and never get it back into a gear. At the same time, if I get a manual car, I could easily have the same problem.

My mom agreed with me (and she kind of pointed it out when she saw that my love for the truck and this new plan was in the negative) that IF I did buy a car, I would sell it, and likely get most (if not all or more) of my money back. Her biggest fear is that something will happen with the car I buy, and I'll put more money into it than I'll ever get out.

She also wants me to be constantly thinking about my upcoming mission (almost exactly one year till I can turn in my papers). I am, trust me. I worked hard to make sure that college and housing and a little extra were all paid for before I seriously decided to buy a car. I'll be working clear up until School starts in August, and then part time during school, and then I have May through the end of September after the school year ends to work full time. If I sell the car I buy for the same as what I bought it for (which is likely in my price range and my intended vehicle choices) I will come out the same in the end.

Why take the risk? I think what bugs me the most about the new plan, is that it's a personal failure to me. If I don't drive home Tuesday with my own car, I failed. Why failure if I still end up with a vehicle? I planned for a specific thing to happen. I gave up a LOT of time and dedicated it to working (I pulled a double shift just Tuesday). In my mind, that money belongs to the car. In my mind, I haven't been earning money, I've been earning my car. I agreed to not take out a loan, and to have the car I want approved by my mom and my uncle. I have reasonable, realistic goals. In my mind, it's a low to medium risk (as was going to college for a year), but my risk scale doesn't go any lower except for garuntees (and few things, if anything, are garuntees).

My sister put in that "it's only ONE year." True. But I will never underestimate the length of a year. It's only short when it's in the past. While it's in the future and while it's happening, it's a WHOLE year and nothing less. By the same reasoning, no matter which option I take, it's only one whole year.

The truth is that there is no wrong answer, but apparently, there IS a right one.

I'm going car shopping on Friday. We'll see what happens.