My Rainy Tuesday

I can't stop thinking about the weather.
It seems so perfect for a jacket or a sweater,
and the cold air is playing on my skin,
It only takes the lightest touch  and I begin.

I'm falling like the autumn leaves,
tree by tree- soon, all of me.
And all the world seems brighter,
I'm not one to fight it.
A chilling breeze, with the windows down,
lingers till we're close to town.
And the sunset fades to the dimmest light,
and I don't want to say goodnight.

It's hard to admit I like the season.
Still, I know it comes on with ease.
The colors as we walk in a kaleidoscope--
orange, yellow, red, and full of hope.

It's warm now that it's cold,
and I'm young now that I'm old.
And with everything that I could be,
I'm giving in to gravity.

I've got this idea that, everything else aside, I will be great. Not just great, but rich and great. Rich enough, at least. I'm going to drive a nice car, but not too nice. It'll be payed for, like my last two cars. I'll be living in an apartment, much like I am now, with six month's rent paid in advance. I'll be doing something I love, and I will love it. I'll love and be loved. It's that simple.

I'll be kind and kindhearted. There's a difference, you know. I'll be caring, and I'll be cared about. Strangers will have my back, much like my friends do now. I'll have theirs.

I'll get there with another idea. It will be simple, clean, and overwhelmingly obvious. It will come to me, and I'll make it happen. When it happens, this happens. It's that simple.

I've got this idea that, everything else aside, I will be great.

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I know. A lot of people have been wondering what I'm up to now that I'm on my own. Here is the list:

• I'm living in an apartment off campus with Pratt, Pud, and JonJon.
• I am currently jobless (and if the New Century Scholarship finishes the filing process, I plan to remain that way.)
• I love life.
• Pud and I hang out with our neighbors from the apartments in front of us (Marley and Bailey).
• Life is interesting.
• I'm on a steady regiment of HTP-5 and Allegra-D. (These help keep the quality of life in the positives.) (Side-note: I slacked off for three days, and I forgot to take them... I'm glad I started again.)
• I'm technically a Junior... But it's my first year, here. This is a source of confusion.
• Even though I'm taking a two-year break from school in a year, I'll still be one of the youngest doctors when I finish med. school.
• I'm a volunteer up at the hospital. (Four hours a week!)
• I have found that I have a passion for physics, and I'm currently taking six credits-worth of physics classes.
• I wish I could say the same for biology, but I'm glad enough that I enjoy physics. (This is ironic.)
• I'm a Biology/Zoology major and a Chemistry minor.
• This is my easy semester.
• I'm taking a total of 15 credits. I originally had 18-19, but French didn't do much for my major, and the book was expensive out the wazoo.
• I study. (I know, right!)
• Life is crazy.
• The library is the best place to be to study. Big windows, quietness, and just an over-all healthy atmosphere.
• We have surround sound in our living room.
• My car doesn't like cold mornings.
• I've been whistled at and cat-called to. (They aren't really my type, haha!)
• I have some great friends.

How about that?

I'm not sleeping much during the week, but that's not new. I'm looking into some remedies. I've tried sleeping pills (so far, Equate has worked the best) but they all have a serious lag-problem, so even if I get a healthy amount of sleep, I still feel useless. I'm working on this.

Adam only lives 45 minutes away, but he's always homesick. I visit him and have him come up to stay at the apartment every now and again. He's a hoot, but I love him. I'm his closest family member.

I'm excited, but frightened, and it's all a huge rush, because school is just flying by. "This is what living like this does."---Taking Back Sunday

Smile!

This is what happens when I wake up from a nap a few minutes before my physics lab.

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This is what happens when I wake up from a nap a few minutes before my physics lab.

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I won't miss this town. But I will miss my friends, my family, and some of those random people who made me laugh.

I'll miss the Patio. I worked my last shift, and I'm more than a little disheartened... I loved Brian and Suzie, and I love Ricky and Lana. They were always more than just owners or bosses. They were friends. Houston, we have ignition. T minus 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Goodbye.

Brian... 8/8/08. I cried with Suzie, and I visited his grave to tell him that I miss him. Life goes on, and that's what's weird. Why couldn't the world stop for just one day...?

I said goodbye to Kelly, Sam, and Stormi, officially. Thursday, I'll say goodbye to everyone I can find who matters to me. It's time to leave. Friday is the day. I'm packing if you want to come and see me on Thursday. I'll be here. (Unless I'm with Ryan and Talon for one last hang-out.)

So long, and goodbye.



P.S. I'll have a different blog at college, where I'll blog EVERY weekday. More about that, later.

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Only Jesus gives an extended life warranty. ---Sign off to the side of the road in Flagstaff.

Can't tell me why--
why every soul
begs to sing or to scream,
but ends up screaming alone.
Alone and unknown. One soul.

Know it's a lie.
Know it's not me.
I'm not alone, 'cause
I don't want to sing.
But I sing. It's not me.

Leave every breath I breathe,
but take these words-- they sting.
In my throat--
just one simple note.
Try as I might,
I have no courage to sing--
simple notes, simple melodies.
Simple notes, melodies.


Softly and sweet--
a small sound, I hear.
Given it's pretense,
I know it's not near.
Nowhere close, but deep within I hear.

Hope has a bittersweet
way of reminding me.
Hope has a bittersweet
way of reminding me
I am alive, but still
I am alone. (Tomorrow)
I am alive, but still
I am alone. (Tomorrow)

Can't tell me why... (Tomorrow)



It's really not meant to be sad, but looking over it... it kind of looks that way. Yes, it is a song, because in my mind, almost all poetry is musical. Think softer SOAD or POD with some strings in the back... It's pretty pointless to describe, because no one will ever hear what it really sounds like in my mind. (It's amazing to listen to, in there, I promise! :)

Big changes are coming, and all I want to do is sleep. I suppose part of it was from being sick, but I'm not sick now (and I'm not sleeping...) back to normal, I guess! (Whatever normal means?)

Random: I sleep better in jeans. Who'd have thought?

(Trust me. I would know from experience.)

So... That pretty much sums up everything I have to say, so if you want to skip the remainder of this post, you won't be missing much.

Why are boys dumb?

Because girls say so. And if a cute girl says it, it's even more true.

Boys are flakes. Because for some reason, they feel like they need to change their likes and dislikes for a girl to be their friend. And all boys know that it's easier to date a girl if she thinks he just wants to be friends with her.

Boys are cruel. They enjoy breaking hearts just like they enjoy shooting or clubbing animals.

Boys are gross. Girls know this, because they are always clean, and the difference is incredible.

Boys are only into the physical stuff. What else is there in a relationship?

Boys are confusing. This is because they REALLY do like you. They like EVERY cute girl who will talk to them.

(I hope the sarcasm was sensed. This was not literal.)

Why am I typing this particular post?

Because I'm a dumb boy, but not necessarily for the reasons above.